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Science Day. April 20, 2010

Posted by essthreefive in Cholesterol, Grandpa, Memories.
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What is cholesterol?

A question often asked, but seldom answered. Not with the kind of rigor we expect at S35.

No it’s not what killed Grandpa. Well, wait, yes… it is what killed Grandpa. But that answer won’t do on your 7th grade bio test will it? Not unless you can cry for your teacher like that time Grandpa put you in his patented Missouri headlock. (The “misery lock…” aho, so many memories.)

Let’s look to the experts:

Cholesterol is a waxy substance that is found in the cell membranes of all animals, including man.

Indeed, Man. Who, we must remember, is differentiated in his animal kingdom only by language, moral sense, and the sentience to combine the two into a logical hatred of waxy substances.

It is needed to produce steroids, bile and vitamin D.

So far so good…

High blood cholesterol is generally associated with an increased risk of heart disease.

And hence specifically associated with Grandpa.

Cholesterol is found in all foods of animal origin and can be made by the body. Cholesterol from food does not contribute much to blood cholesterol levels; rather, saturated fats are the main dietary factor associated with high blood cholesterol.

And that’s why we feel good about eating 5-egg omelettes every morning.

Adivce, to Pat March 31, 2010

Posted by essthreefive in 伝えたいこと.
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Though I have not, as the saying goes, kept Japan a part of my life, nonetheless, I feel that what little wisdom I may have left, I should impart. In five parts, common situations, and their ideal reaction:

1: ね~ね~私をお母さんと呼んでちょうだい

Result: Run.

2: 私も映画大好きよ。アバター見た?

Result: Ehhhh

3:

Result: Run.

4: I’m Jerry from the base.

Result: Cool.

5:

Result: Run.

Later, Good Luck!

Socialism: Day One March 22, 2010

Posted by essthreefive in Playing Hookie, Socialism.
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Comrades…

(No, “j/k”-ing, haha)

Today I was free(1), playing “hookie” as we once called it(2), and so found myself astroll in the neighborhood, awash in cheerful pro-sociality. My thoughts were focused not on the future(3), I found myself instead yearning for an instance of old-style commerce. Hence, naturally, the cornered-store, with its sugared delights. The clerk, no doubt a prime benefactor of our new age and its free Acne-be-gone, seemed filled with similar novel philanthropy, it replacing the winner-take-all hustle that had kept me and less so him so sharp. Where once the routine of sniping an extra penny from the give-a(4)/take-a jar would have taken its hold of me, my own chance to squash the clerk and his well-beaked owner under my industrial boot just as they would me, I found myself pleasantly exchanging goodbyes with the boy. I was not merely content but happy that not only this dollar, but roughly 10% of my dollars, would bankroll his degenerate freeloading.

Indeed, I walked into our new red sun,my lips wet with sugared balm, knowing that the future was, if no longer our own, in good hands.

1 (No, “j/k”-ing, haha)
2 In both literal and figurative old America, where words looked funny and we were “expected” to work.
3 It having been calculated for me, by pleasant, well-vacationed bureaucrats
4 no

Transmission to the digital age complete… March 21, 2010

Posted by essthreefive in Football Spiking, Lost, The Pregnant Pause.
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